Even those of us who are usually upbeat and positive have bad days occasionally. These bad days may be prompted by something that happened or for no apparent reason at all. When this happens, most people react in one of three ways:
1) Ignore and bury their feelings by distracting themselves.
2) Wallow in their feelings and allow those feelings to overwhelm them.
3) Lash out and blame others.
Until recently, emotions were viewed as “distractions” and were considered to be something that should be controlled or avoided (Jones, 2018). However, today, we know emotions are part of our information processing system and provide us with critical knowledge about how we move through the world. Very simply, emotions help us make sense of events and situations in our lives. Research in neuroscience indicates that emotions function as a rapid-action reflex that focuses our attention on a situation. This process serves as a means for us to sort and prioritize life events according to their significance or relevance to our sense of self.
While emotions give meaning and importance to situations and people, it is important to note that emotions fall into two categories: positive emotions such as love, joy, compassion, gratitude, and also negative emotions such as anger, hate, shame, and guilt. Because of the negative bias of our brains, we focus on and react to negative emotions far more than positive ones. Often when we experience negative emotions, we have reoccurring negative thoughts that may lead to a downward spiral and this may lead to serious conditions such as depression and anxiety. Because of that, it is important that we develop the ability to productively deal with negative or maladaptive emotions when they occur.
How To Manage Emotions
A growing body of evidence suggests that mindfulness is an effective tool in learning how to manage our emotions (Jones, 2018). For example, when we attend to the present moment and accept our emotions as they are, we are better able to manage our negative feelings (Coffey et al., 2010). The next time you find that you are “having a bad day”, we encourage you to address your feelings in a positive and productive way, instead of taking the less productive path of burying your feelings, wallowing in them, or lashing out at others. To help you get started, here are two brief mindfulness practices that demonstrate how to begin the process of managing difficult or negative emotions.
References
Coffey, K.A., Hartman, M., & Fredrickson, B.L., (2010). Deconstructing Mindfulness and Constructing Mental Health: Understanding Mindfulness and its Mechanisms of Action. Mindfulness, 1, 235-253.
Garland, E., Gaylord, S., & Park, J., (2009). The Role of Mindfulness in Positive Reappraisal. Explore, 5, 37-44.
Greenberg, L., (2008). Emotion and Cognition in Psychotherapy: Transforming Power of Affect. Canadian Psychology, 49, 49-59.
Jones, T. M. (2018). The effects of mindfulness meditation on emotion regulation, cognition and social skills. European Scientific Journal, 14(14), 18-32