Recently, I’ve been helping Levelhead’s CEO, Saundra Schrock, with an upcoming presentation she’s making at a client’s national sales conference. One of the topics she’s covering is compassion. And, something she wrote struck me. Saundra wrote that compassion is the ACTION component of empathy. In other words, when you demonstrate compassion, you move beyond just feelings or understanding for someone’s suffering. You move to ACTION to alleviate suffering. I had never heard it put so simply.
And, this resonated with me. I’ve been helping my mom and step-dad lately and it’s involved getting my step-dad some essential health care that he needs. It’s been requiring a lot of time and effort, and I’ve seen how ACTIONS can go a long way.
I’m not sure about you, but I’ve been guilty in the past of using the phrase, “just give me a call if you need me” or “let me know if I can help you” . Now, while I have good intentions by saying this sometimes (because I do want to respect their privacy and their personal decisions about care that don’t always align with mine), many times I think I’ve said it more to make myself feel better or to defer responsibility to the other person, putting the onus on them. You know, this way, it sounds like you care, but you’re secretly hoping no one calls.
As I’ve helped navigate all of their current issues, it’s become clear to me that true compassion is taking charge, taking action. It’s about initiative and putting my mindfulness work into practice by being present and being aware of the clues – areas I can jump in and help. For example, offering to fill out forms or taking a look at the hot water heater to diagnose why the water isn’t hot or showing up to health care meetings to take notes and be another set of ears. It involves jumpstarting the car and taking it to an auto repair shop when the battery is dead. Not offering to help, but just taking the initiative to do it.
And, you know what? It’s a lot of work. But, it’s the work that is truly the assistance they need. They don’t need another person offering to help. They need help solving problems. They need the burden lifted in areas that give them anxiety or are beyond their current capabilities.
How About Compassion in the Workplace?
It also got me thinking about the workplace. In my years working at Chase Bank, I’ve seen two kinds of people – the people who wait for direction and the ones who take initiative. As I reflected on my 20+ years there while writing this, I started thinking about the people who made work so much fun and rewarding – the people who I wanted to work with, the people who were making a difference. And, you know what? These were the people who jumped in to lend a hand without being asked; the ones who stayed late to help with a tight deadline instead of heading home; the ones who listened and brainstormed to help solve a problem even when it didn’t involve their immediate job; the people who proofread presentations and collated packets late into the evening. These are the people who made a difference, got the job done, and epitomized teamwork.
Can you think of someone who needs your help right now? If so, don’t just say, “let me know how I can help” or “give me a call if you need me” or wait to be asked. Look for a way to help. Pay attention. It will become evident. Show up. Be there. Listen. Lighten the load. Bring them lunch or coffee. Clear the snow from the windshield. Do something. It will set you apart from the rest. But, more importantly, you’ll truly be of service and help demonstrate real compassion.
Want more practice? I’ve included one of Levelhead’s compassion micro-lessons below. I hope it helps trigger some ideas about how listening to another is also a great form of “action compassion”.
Sue Beranek
Levelhead, Director of Communications