We know from research that in times of uncertainty, we tend to think the worst. Even when a situation or message could be interpreted as positive, we often interpret it as negative, especially when we lack information. We do this because the brain does not like ambiguity. Neuroscientists tell us that in times of ambiguity, all areas of the brain are recruited to manage the lack of information. Our efforts to deal with uncertain situations may leave us feeling mentally fatigued, irritable, and anxious. And this may lead to faulty decision-making.
While it is unlikely that we can avoid worry in our lives, we can learn to manage it and improve the quality of our lives. The following a six-step process than can help you gain control over your thoughts.
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SIX STEPS TO MANAGING WORRY
Acknowledge the reality of the situation.
Putting your head in the sand or ignoring the facts will not lead to more certainty. Taking steps to review carefully and objectively what is known, and what is not known, will help us put rationality around an irrational situation.
Recognize when thoughts are irrational.
Unproductive worry often follows a pattern that looks a lot like the following. Your friend canceled a long-awaited dinner without a lot of explanation. You know that your friend’s husband has been ill. So, you begin thinking that he must have gotten worse and begin to worry if you should press to find out more information. You mull over if and how you should reach out to find out more about her husband. You become so worried that you start asking people who know them to see if they know anything. The story builds and before you know it, your friend calls you to find out why you are asking your mutual friends about her husband’s health. We have all done something like this. The idea is to recognize when it is happening and to shortcut this unproductive process. How? See the next step.
Say to yourself, “Stop”.
Once you recognize that your thoughts are building one irrational or hypothetical thought onto another, the best way to pause this thinking is to literally say to yourself, “Stop”. Doing this will allow you to hit the pause button on your thoughts.
Consider another outcome.
Instead of thinking about a negative outcome, consider another alternative. Try looking at the situation from another perspective to see if there’s a positive way to look at it.
Leverage Positive Affirmations.
When you find yourself having negative thoughts, many people find that positive, self-affirmations help them realize that they have overcome adversity in the past and that they will again in the future. An affirmation might sound like, “I can handle whatever is put in my path.”
Practice self-care.
Worrying thoughts are more likely to control us when we are tired or stressed. Getting enough rest and engaging in stress-relieving techniques such as exercise, meditation, journaling, and talking things through with others, can help us gain perspective.
While it may feel like there is a lot to worry about today, we do not have to let our natural tendency to think the worst dominate our lives. You can control your thoughts and begin to manage and wipe out worry. A question to ask yourself is this: Is there a better use of my time than worrying? And, that answer is YES! Leverage these techniques to be more present and positive, and you’ll be able to reduce the worry you experience.
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