Joy is a natural emotion, but it does not always happen naturally. This has been especially true during the pandemic. Because of the challenges in our lives, we sometimes need to work at finding ways to cultivate joy. To do that, we need to intentionally focus on things, activities, relationships, and beliefs that are life-giving. We need to become more aware of when we feel profound joy and then intentionally pursue those things. Taking this approach to life can be especially helpful in coping with challenges and disappointments, guiding you toward what brings you a sense of purpose and meaning in your life.
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During the holidays, our schedules and to-do lists are often full of things that we feel we must do or do out of obligation or tradition. We continue to do these things even though they no longer bring us joy. Because of the disruption of last year’s holiday season, we have an opportunity to recreate our lives to be in alignment with what brings us joy.
Here are a few ideas on how to begin making joy a habit:
Reflect on experiences. At the end of the day or at the end of the week, reflect on the experiences that brought you the most joy or when you felt most alive. Explore those moments to determine why those moments were so special to you. You might even consider starting a “joy journal” to help you remember these special moments. Keep in mind that joy is different from happiness, although they are both positive emotions. Joy involves those things that hold the most significance in your life.
Find what sparks joy in others. One way to do this is look for ways to encourage others to grow their strengths. For example, when you see someone, such as your partner, spouse, or co-worker light up and/or do something well, reinforce or affirm it with then.
Find ways to do things with and for other people. In the busy holiday season, it is easy to fall into the pursuit of finding just the right gift for someone. Instead, you might encourage those around you to find a way to share experiences instead of giving gifts. Or, find a way that you can give back together as family members or work colleagues, such as finding a volunteer/fundraising opportunity you can do together.
Prioritize your time and energy for those closest to you. Before you say “yes” to that holiday party or event, take a moment to reflect on what impact accepting this opportunity will have on what’s most important. When we align our commitments with our priorities, we will have more energy to be present for those closest to us.
As you approach this holiday season, don’t expect major changes or radical adjustments. Start by becoming aware of what brings you joy and manage shifts to align your priorities. Change is a process and takes time. Take time to celebrate growth and movement toward what’s important.