When you are in high school or college, completing an undergrad program, or writing a dissertation in graduate school, the pressure is high to excel. Often the pressures of being a student lead to habits that are not in alignment with good self-care. Here are just a few of the unique issues related to being a student:

Unhealthy snacking
Loss of sleep
Stress of exams and academic deadlines
Social pressure
Lack of exercise
Lack of self-compassion

Self-Compassion

Self-compassion is often most needed when we fail to live up to our expectations or when we perceive that we have made a mistake. Self-compassion occurs on two levels. First, it happens on a cognitive level. That is, we intellectually understand what is meant by the term. It also occurs emotionally, where we can connect to our suffering. Self-compassion means caring for yourself as you would for someone you love. Without the ability to take care of ourselves, we may experience a high level of fatigue, burnout, and stress.

Levelhead-Ed has completed thousands of surveys of undergraduate and graduate students. Our findings suggest that a lack of self-compassion is an underlying issue leading to a lack of self-esteem, stress, and even depression and anxiety.

Being a human being means that we make mistakes, we have regrets, we sometimes don’t live up to other's expectations of us, and on and on. Our imperfection is the essence of our shared humanity. Once we accept that we are all in this together, we can connect to others and not feel so alone in our disappointments. Yet, our inner critic can get in the way.

Learning to Transform Our Inner Critic

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Most of us have a running conversation going on in our heads. And, frequently, it’s a one-way conversation where our inner voice reminds us of all our mistakes, discouraging us from trying something new and telling us not to aim so high. While the tendency might be to try to silence this voice, you may find that approach will only last for a short time, and undoubtedly your inner critic will return, sometimes even stronger, pointing out, “See, I was right. You can’t do that. I knew it!”

If you are a student or know a student having trouble, perhaps a great place to help is to pause your inner critic that may be sending a non-supportive or destructive message. The following exercise may help you heal and move forward from disappointments and setbacks.
It’s a helpful place to start.